


The Good And The Bad

by Warp5Complex_Archivist



Category: Star Trek: Enterprise
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-02-28
Updated: 2006-02-28
Packaged: 2018-08-15 22:44:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8075719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Warp5Complex_Archivist/pseuds/Warp5Complex_Archivist
Summary: After the events of 2.18 "The Crossing," Hoshi is haunted by dreams of a certain armory officer. (08/22/2004)





	

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Kylie Lee, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Warp 5 Complex](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Warp_5_Complex), the software of which ceased to be maintained and created a security hazard. To make future maintenance and archive growth easier, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in August 2016. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but I may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Warp 5 Complex collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/Warp5Complex).

  
Author's notes: I'd like to thank Starsearcher for taking the time to beta. I really appreciate it.  


* * *

Hoshi rolled over with a disgusted moan. Another night filled with dreams, and another morning of waking up aching with need. Sometimes she trembled with fear from the intense intimacy in her dreams, a feeling that stayed with her all day. Thankfully her problem this morning was a little different; nothing a cold shower couldn't fix.

The dreams had begun after the incident with the wisps, her experience when her body had been possessed. Prior to that, she'd never thought of Malcolm that way. Well, maybe not never, but she certainly hadn't had recurring dreams about anything from playful conversations to passionate lovemaking. It was beginning to drive her insane.

She stepped up to the mirror in her bathroom, looking at herself.

"What are you going to do?" she asked the reflection. After a moment she smiled and shook her head. She was really losing it.

Later, showered and dressed, Hoshi made her way to the messhall for breakfast. Despite the harsh wakeup she was feeling remarkably happy. She was proud of herself for the way she was handling this. She retained her professionalism and if anything, she was more contentious of it. Her self-congratulation continued as she filled her tray.

"Good morning, Hoshi," a voice from behind her greeted.

She all but dropped her tray, fumbling slightly to keep it from falling. Oh yes, she was doing very well.

"Good morning, Lieutenant," she replied, turning around, glossing over any clumsiness and pretending everything was fine.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you." Malcolm gave her a half smile and Hoshi denied the impulse to narrow her eyes at him. He wasn't being sexy on purpose; he just couldn't help it.

'Argh!' her internal monologue objected to the thought. Hoshi shook her head. "It's a little early in the morning." Very smooth.

"Would you care to join me?"

"Uh...I'm sorry, I promised to meet...Liz." Liar! "Another time?"

He nodded and briefly looked a little disappointed. "I'll see you on duty then. Oh, and for target practice this afternoon."

Hoshi nodded and plastered a grin on her face, hoping it didn't look too forced. As he retreated to a table on the other side of the mess, Hoshi quickly moved to where her friend Liz Cutler was sitting. Without announcing her presence or asking if it was okay to join her, she sat down. Liz looked up in response.

"Please let me sit here!" Hoshi pleaded.

Liz nodded and leaned in conspiratorially. "Another dream?"

Hoshi buried her head in her hands, making whimpering noises. Liz grinned. "You've got it bad. I saw you talking with him. What'd he say?"

"Good morning, care to join me?"

Liz gasped. "And you turned him down, and now you're sitting with me?"

Hoshi nodded lamely.

"You've got it bad."

"You have no idea."

* * *

Target practice came around far too quickly for Hoshi's liking. Working on the bridge, she had thought she'd have plenty of time to prepare herself, but then she heard the captain's voice saying that her and Malcolm's shift was over and asking what they were still doing there. They'd both had their heads bent over their consoles, working hard.

Hoshi flushed and nodded a goodbye to the captain.

"Ensign," Malcolm called.

She held the turbolift for him, which was what he'd intended. He pressed the control for F-deck, where the armory was located. "Ready for training?"

"Yes, sir," she replied. Damnit! She couldn't even have a few moments alone in the lift before hand!

She was staring at the doors a little moodily and then noticed that he was looking at her. She turned her eyes to him and then quickly back to the door. They soon arrived in the armory, after exchanging only a few words in the lift and on the walk there. As Malcolm set up the targets, Hoshi prepared the phase pistol, taking the moment of relative privacy to take a deep breath and shake her shoulders in an attempt to relax.

"We'll start with a thirty second window. Ready?" Padd in hand, Malcolm watched her intently, taking in her stance and grip on the weapon.

Hoshi pushed down the feelings his intense gaze set off and focused on the task at hand. "Ready," she said firmly. A signal from the computer indicated that the session had begun and she immediately began following the target, firing when she felt she had a good shot.

"Time."

She let her phaser hand fall, resting at her side, and lowered her head. The number of misses was going to be high, she knew, and she let out a disappointed sigh.

"Sixty-five percent hit ratio." It was a slight improvement, and Hoshi was grateful that he didn't make another comment about blowing out bulkheads.

"You need to relax, Ensign. You have the necessary skills, you just need to concentrate." He emphasized his point with minute gestures of his hand and he stepped closer.

Hoshi sucked in a breath. He was going to adjust her stance. She suppressed a whimper and turned around to face the targets once more. A gentle hand came to rest on her hip and the another grasped her shoulder. In unison they both applied pressure, adjusting her stance. When she felt she was standing correctly she relaxed her shoulders and waited.

And waited.

His hands were still there, holding her in place gently. Finally he let her go. She heard the sounds of Malcolm preparing the session. The signal sounded again and Hoshi began. Not five seconds into the practice, his hands returned. Concentration completely blown, she jumped and gave a squeak. She turned around swiftly and stepped back.

Malcolm stepped back too, looking equally surprised. "I'm sorry, Ensign, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. I should have asked before...before..." He stumbled over the words as his ears turned pink.

Hohsi's heart was still pounding. "No, no, I just, wasn't expecting..." she tried to explain.

Malcolm nodded grimly and she knew he was blaming himself. He was a gentleman and always behaved quite properly around her. This probably upset that.

"It's fine, I want you to...to show me! Show me how to stand." Oh, she wanted to die.

"Uh..." He eyes darted from her, to the walls, to his Padd. "Shall we start over?"

Hoshi gulped and nodded. Malcolm made no move to come back over to her and she immediately felt guilty. After two more sessions and no improvement, he stepped forward, forward nervously with his hands, silently asking if it was ok to touch her. She nodded a little stiffly and turned back to the targets. His hands were feather light when they returned to her body and Hoshi had to control the shiver that was creeping through her spine.

The final session began and soon finished. Hoshi was surprised it ended so quickly; the thirty seconds seemed too pass in an instant. She stood for a moment contemplating that. She frowned, realising Malcolm hadn't released her and that his grip was now firm. They stood that way for several seconds longer. Her thoughts reeling, Hoshi tried to work out what he was doing. She glanced over her shoulder at him and found him wearing a serious expression with a curious vulnerability in his eyes. He briefly met her eyes and seemingly coming back to himself, instantly let her go, stepping back and looking down.

He cleared his throat. "Very good, Ensign, the hit ratio is up ten percent."

It took her a moment to remember to smile, still consumed by the sensation of being in his arms and the fluttering that the look on his face had caused. The expression was so close to the look he wore when making love to her in her dreams: serious, reverent, and vulnerable.

"Great! All our hard work seems to be paying off." The attempt at conversation was lame, but she had to say something.

"Yes, you're improving very well." He cleared his throat again, still not meeting her eyes.

"Well, dinner in the mess hall is just starting, I should get going."

Briefly, she thought about inviting him to join her, it was the polite thing to do after all, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. With a wave, she quickly left the armory and in the end, took her dinner to her quarters to eat.

* * *

Light hands traveled down her arms and reached her hands, clasping them gently.

"Hoshi, you're so beautiful," he whispered in her ear. The hands left her and came to rest on her stomach, tracing some unknown pattern. She shivered as his lips traveled from her ear to kiss down her neck slowly.

"Malcolm," she breathed.

His grip tightened at the sound of his name so sensually spoken from her lips. She felt him pressed tightly against her back and let herself lean back into him, savouring the feel of his lips as they worked on her collarbone. One of his hands moved down to hold her hip firmly, while the other moved up her side, lightly brushing the side of her breast. In response to the teasing sensation her head fell back on his shoulder, eyes closed, and mouth slightly open.

"Malcolm," she moaned.

"Hoshi," he replied against her skin. "Hoshi." His voice was now a low growl. The next moment she heard beeping and instantly groaned, rolling over. A fist, weak with sleep, thumped her pillow. It just wasn't fair. Of course today was another training day, and of course she'd have the target practice dream.

* * *

After her shift, she entered the armory, shaking in nervousness. They began without much conversation, eager to get on with the task at hand. Once again, his hands hesitantly came to rest on her hip and shoulder, and this time she didn't jump although she still felt tense. When the session finished, she half hoped that he would linger again, but he let go immediately and calculated her percentages.

"Seventy-seven percent, very good. And your stance has improved considerably."

Hoshi nodded and smiled and the compliments.

Malcolm continued. "I think you're ready to move on to practice on your own."

"Oh!" Her eyebrows jumped up her forehead.

"And we're ready to start hand to hand training."

"Oh," she repeated, though in an entirely different tone. Phaser practice was hard enough; how would she survive rolling around on the ground with him?

"Hoshi?"

She shook her head slightly, realising that he'd continued speaking. "I'm sorry, what?"

"We can start on Thursday, at the same time, if that's convenient?"

"Oh, that'll be fine. Thank you, Lieutenant." She graced him with a smile and began packing up the equipment.

* * *

"I'm just going to be strong and get through it," Hoshi stated firmly.

Across from her, Liz Cutler was nodding in a somewhat placating manner though not without sympathy.

Hoshi speared a piece of fruit on her fork. "I'll be okay. It can't get any worse...can it?"

"From the sound of things, no."

She stared at her friend, mouth open indignantly.

"What?" Liz said. "Do you want me to tell you that you haven't been fumbling and blushing like a schoolgirl? Cause you have. But he's been doing the exact same thing."

"Blushing like a school girl?" They both laughed and Hoshi was glad to relieve the tension. "Do you really think so?"

"I know so." Liz poked her own fork at her, emphasizing her certainty. "You just need to make a move!"

If Hoshi looked surprised earlier, she was aghast now. "We work together!"

"The tension is already there, on both sides, so it can't affect your work any more than it has. And you're not directly under him." She chose the phrasing deliberately, raising an eyebrow at the innuendo. "There's no breach of regulations. You just have to give it a go."

Hoshi didn't look so certain. "He thinks we should retain a professional relationship, and I'm not sure I disagree."

Liz tilted her head and offered a sympathetic smile. "Just take it slow, see what happens."

Hoshi nodded. There was no other alternative in any case. She couldn't suddenly turn off her feelings or stop seeing him. She sighed, but then jumped in her seat. "Oh, I've got to go! We've got training."

The last thing she heard as she raced out of the messhall was Liz calling after her. "Slowly!"

* * *

"I'm sorry I'm late, Lieutenant," she said, slowing from a jog as she entered the gym.

"No problem, Ensign. We should get started." He was standing in the center of one of the training mats wearing black sweat pants and the standard issue blue undershirt.

"I'll just change." Each crewmember had a small locker in the adjacent room and she was grateful that she'd left a change of exercise clothes in hers because she'd been so consumed with the idea of wrestling with Malcolm that she'd forgotten the need for appropriate attire.

"There's no need for shoes," he said just as she went through the doors.

She nodded and once safely through the door began to unzip her uniform. She too would wear her blue T-shirt with some black sweatpants. A small smile curled her lips as she thought of the similarity. After quickly changing she walked back out, reappearing in the gym to find Malcolm already starting the stretching exercises. Without a word she settled beside him and copied his actions. Nearing the end of the stretches, Malcolm began to inform her on what they'd be doing.

"I think it's necessary to start with an exercise to gauge your skill level at the moment and any areas that specifically need improvement."

Hoshi nodded and soon they were ready to begin. They circled each other on the mat, Hoshi holding her hands somewhat uncertainly in front of her in a defensive position. Malcolm moved with absolute confidence. Hoshi was watching his every move, quickly moving out of the way if he stepped towards her. The strategy was working well so far, but she knew even if he wasn't going all out that she'd soon have to defend herself. No sooner had she thought it did the moment come.

His hand was on her wrist attempting to twist it behind her and she did everything she could to wriggle free, short of lifting a knee into that delicate part of his anatomy. However she did twist a leg between his legs, behind his knee, attempting to push him down. It wasn't working however and the grip on her wrist didn't lessen. She let out a pained squeal and his grip immediately lessened. Seizing the advantage she pushed with all her might and succeeded in forcing him down to the mat. Before she could bask in the triumph though, the advantage was lost and somehow she was on her back with his weight on top of her. He let out a grunt of exertion and she gasped in surprise as her head hit the mat.

He loomed over her for a moment and she wasn't sure what he was thinking. He seemed to be assessing her performance and the actions that led to this point. Her mind was in an entirely different place, back to the dream she'd had last night.

"Not bad, Ensign, but I think you'll find few opponents will respond to your cry, however realistic."

So he knew that she wasn't really hurt, but at least it had worked. Well, sort of worked.

"It was good thinking to take advantage of my weakness."

He seemed to still at the words and Hoshi frowned. Before she could ask if he was okay, he had stood up and taken a few paces away from her. "Shall we begin again?"

She nodded as she stood up, brushing herself off though there was no dirt. They began circling again. Hoshi was watching him closely again, waiting for him to attack. He was taking his time. In the mean time she was thinking.

There was no reason that she had to wait for him. Obviously he would be able to deflect any attack she could come up with easily without breaking a sweat, but she might able to take him by surprise. She had grown up with brothers, one of whom was very proficient in martial arts and had used her as a test subject, occasionally imparting some useful information in between practices.

She couldn't use her weight against him, but she could take advantage of him. So she continued to wait, and finally he moved forward. The plan didn't exactly go smoothly but it succeeded. When he came at her, she rolled backwards, using his momentum to take him with her. The landing was harder than she had anticipated and she ended up winded, laying against his chest straddling him.

He wheezed as well, showing he definitely hadn't anticipated her actions. "Good move, Ensign."

All she could do was let out a breathless moan as she tried to regain her breath. Concerned hands fell on her back. "Are you all right?"

It took her a moment to respond. "Winded," was her simple reply. Her chest hurt.

He allowed them to rest like that for a moment. Eventually, Hoshi sat up and put a hand to her chest as she continued to breathe deeply, trying to get rid of the pain there. Malcolm's hands automatically slid from her back to her hips, but neither seemed to notice. Hoshi was too concerned with breathing, and Malcolm was distracted watching her. A moment later she leaned forward again, bracing a hand on the mat to hold herself up. The movement, her flushed appearance, and her audible breathing was beginning to take effect on Malcolm, but he was too concerned with her predicament to pay much attention.

"Are you certain I didn't hurt you?"

Hoshi nodded, breathing easier now. The pain had lifted. She finally let out a comfortable breath and sat back. Her eyes immediately flew to his and a second later she awkwardly rolled of off him, not trusting herself.

Malcolm cleared his throat. "I..."

"It's all right, it's my fault, normal reaction, right?" She didn't meet his eyes and stood up, shaking again in nervousness.

"It's completely inappropriate, Ensign, and I apologise. You are completely within your rights to make a complaint and I will understand if you do so."

Hoshi shook her head. "It's no problem. If anything it's flattering."

"If my...attraction to you makes you uncomfortable, I can ask one of the other armory officers to train you."

"No...wait, you're attracted to me?"

He gestured to the floor where they had lain and looked downcast and self-depreciatingly at the floor. His normal steely resolve was gone. Any situation he encountered, he could always look people in the eye. She could tell sometimes that it made him uncomfortable, but he forced himself to do it, to show confidence. But it seemed he couldn't do that with her.

Hoshi stepped closer to him, taking his hand. After a moment, she leaned forward and gently kissed his cheek, the closest part to his mouth she could reach. He remained still for a moment, but then slowly raised his eyes to meet hers. His expression was searching, trying to identify some sign of her intentions, if she really meant what she had done. She shyly and unconsciously licked her lips, drawing his gaze. After lingering wantonly, his gaze traveled to her eyes, seeing that they were fixed on his lips.

Encouraged, he leaned forward and kissed her gently, but with passion and no uncertain intention. Her hands came to rest on his shoulders, while his held her hips firmly. When the kiss ended, she felt a little faint, and rested her head on his shoulder. She could hear him breathing heavily and could feel his body tense, waiting for her reaction. When she lifted her head and met his expression she found it the same as before; searching, uncertain. At her small smile, it changed; serious, reverent, and vulnerable. So like her dreams.

Oh yes, she had it bad.


End file.
